you can never have enough

Mon, 05 Sep 2005 03:50:23 GMT

i need to become skinny and skinnier and skinnest.. by tomorrow..

now: someone tell me im beautiful, please.

heh.

Wed, 31 Aug 2005 15:50:08 GMT

its been long enough..
i wish i was motivated to actually write in here like i use too.
i would post 3-4 times daily!
but, thats also when i had a life of fun and other people who actually read what i posted..
to have a fun life again.. mep.
to have friends again.. mep.
to not ever say mep agian.. priceless.
-loser.

hello everyone, its nice too see you.

im glad to see everyones life is enjoyable and full of things too do.

i work alot.
but, im starting too enjoy it.. only on certain days.
when certain people work.

i forget whats its like too hang out with friends all the time.
i think i miss it.
i want some friends to watch movies with and play stupid games with and laugh all night with.

-ATTEN: best friend needed (male, female, anything that talks)
-QUALIFACATIONS: nice eyes, pretty smile. :)
-ABILITES: make me laugh out loud
-PERFORMANCE: danceathons! fun photos! car rides! movie nights! baking cookies! pointless phone calls! lots of random aim chats! *sleep overs!
-AVAILIBILITY: weekends, some weeknights? ill take whatever i can get.
---APPLY WITHIN COMMENT---

*sleep overs for females only.

oh, and i still have the greatest boyfriend ever!

<3

Fri, 22 Jul 2005 04:34:33 GMT

oh these past few days have been the hardest of my life.. i dont know what i would do without jayk.. i just miss him, i cant bare too handle this anymore.. the pain, and sadness... i just want too hug him and hold him, and love him, and have him be all mine... this is such torture.. please please, come back. i cant breath without you...

heheh... :)

hows that for updating..??

JAYK!! I MISS YOU, BABY!

and you know that, without reading my journal.. hehe..

i love you.

Wed, 06 Jul 2005 15:45:44 GMT

i still need to get hot....
what is taking so long?
gah!

Sat, 07 May 2005 05:14:04 GMT

things are good. so good.
nyc.. best trip ever.
my little bunny bear. oh:)

being inlove is better then ice cream..

oh, and i LOVE ice cream.

mmm. jacob.. my little ice cream cone..
hah. im a loser.

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 03:26:32 GMT

uh?

my life is boring..
every week keeps repeating itself..
over and over.

im excited for the warm weather..
fun things can happen.
the zoo!! parks! frizbee!! swings!
walks! picnics! bbqs!
so good!

im a kid.
what can i say?

i need to get hot.
mm. that would be awesome.

NYC!! 10 days!

Tue, 15 Feb 2005 05:15:47 GMT

valentines day is offically over, well, on this side of the world.. blayn just informed me. :)
i miss that boy..
my dad bought me a bouquet of flowers.. awe.
<3 daddy. my hero.. hehe

joe bought me roses.
<3 hes funny.

i get too see my valentine today..
well, sort of today.. i still have to sleep and wake up again, so it doesnt really count.
but, im still excited.
<3 valentine. i love you. <3

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 19:37:04 GMT

i have to work on some of my crazy, psychotic issues....
oh boy... this is going to be tough.
im a moron.

Thu, 06 Jan 2005 21:05:50 GMT

i wish i had something cool too write about.
i wish i have some close friends and such.
i miss jodi, i wish we hung out all the time.

i have too take my exam on monday, and im getting nervous. :/
im trying too post new pics up in my space.. but its not working.. :/
today is blah.. i hope i dont miss the OC tonight. :/
ohh.. OC.. :)

bath time.

days go by and still i think of you..

Tue, 21 Dec 2004 05:09:13 GMT

i was reading through old journals.. and came across this.. and it makes me really sad.
i dont really know why im posting it.. im just having a sad day..
i hate holidays without my mom.
its really hard. i guess im doing good.. or pretending too..
i know ill get through it.. but i just want too break down alot.

--my mom have been really sick lately. and its sad. shes been throwing up everyday. today she did about 4 times.
she went too the doctors and it turns out she has a gallblabber problem. so shes going too have too need more surgery for that. i really wish my mom could feel normal for once. shes been going through so much in the last 6 years. she havent felt herself in such a long time.
i always think about when she was my age, and this kind of stuff never crossed her mind. she never thought she would have cancer 5 different times. it makes me think about what is down the path for me in 20 years. what am i going too go through, what will my husband and kids do if this stuff happens too me. what if i end up with someone that cant handle it and would leave me. that would suck. id have too go through it alone. i dont like thinking of stuff like this. so im going too stop.--

Mon, 06 Dec 2004 03:59:29 GMT

my head is pounding again.

Thu, 02 Dec 2004 20:10:25 GMT

and.. jayk did get a car :)

and its OC NIGHT!!

join the party!

Mon, 29 Nov 2004 21:22:26 GMT

so jayk didnt get a car..

woo hoo for him anyways.
and for white strips.
:) im wearing them right now, and they taste pretty bad. :(

i woke up at 6 o clock to go to the gym today. sooo tired, but it was marvelous.
my 2 hour workout. heh, im going to go tomorrow. and hopefully a few more times this week.
thats a good time right there.
and i saw emily :) :)

Sat, 27 Nov 2004 18:04:12 GMT

and a GAINT 'woo hoo' to all of thee below things happening today:

birthday birthday birthday!
jayks getting a new car!
i won 3 games of pool!
i shaved my legs!
im wearing brand new matching socks with no holes!
i found my carving comb!
i listened to church of rhytem. hehe!
i watched little rascels!
i get to see jayob today!
birthday birthay birthday!

<3 heh. i hope today is good.
so far, its winning.

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 02:51:43 GMT

some people can make me very mad. dont do it again. seriously or i will personally kill you myself.. thank you.

my birthday is in 2 days!

happy thanksgiving everyone.

im at my aunts. i will do this later.

Sat, 13 Nov 2004 22:28:26 GMT

i still havent been taken to the beach... oh well...

i dropped my phone in the toilet on wednesday, everything is bad about that.
everything on it work fine, except the 5 button..it sucks cause i dont have the JKL for my text messages and i cant call anyone with a 5 in there number unless they were already programed into my phone..
im buying blayns phone off of him so im excited for that.
hopefully hell be home soon so i can get it from him.

as of today:
i found 15 dollars in the pocket of old jeans
im a red head
i fixed two of my broken nails
i ate a turkey sandwhich
and im hungry again.

i hope i go out tonight. my hair is red. :)
heh.

date anyone..?

Sat, 30 Oct 2004 23:42:41 GMT

i want to go to the beach.

i want to go at around 6 o'clock and stay there for the evening to watch to sunset and just walk along the sand..
mmm. i want someone to read this and just ask if i wanna hang out..
and then surprisingly take me to the beach..
i would be soo excited. well.. depending on the person i guess. hehe.
im being a hopeless romantic tonight. heh.
kill me :)
(its almost winter.. this needs to happen before the snow comes..)

i just want to be swept away. i deserve it. im nice.
hehe. <3
i want to be surprised with something glorious.. like a beach date. :)
i do deserve it. heh.

Fri, 29 Oct 2004 19:32:25 GMT

so far my strict diet became a strict nothing. hehe.
i rock.

i have a pimple. and i hate it.

and my fingers are pure ice. so cold.

jacob tonight. :)
i mean.. :( pshht.. jake.. whats so great about that guy..
hehe. <3

people people. make this happen. hehe.

Thu, 21 Oct 2004 02:44:29 GMT

ive gained like 10 pounds this month.
ek.. on top of the 90 that shouldnt be there.. i gotta about 100 to lose..
starting right now.
im not a strict diet of no ice cream. ah! so hard.
im only eatting banannas, steamed veggies and water. heh. oh man.
i worked out tonight. i havent in like 2 weeks.. it was actually kind of fun.
hopefully i will do it again tomorrow. :)
and maybe get into the habit.
EVERYONE: dont let me eat any bad food. or i will be really mad at you.

oh, and remind me that i want to be pretty...
so that i will stick to being good.

after 10 pounds. i will celebrate with icecream..
then after 30.. i will celebrate with more icecream..
after 100... i will.. buy an ice cream truck. and lots and lots of new clothes!!
oh ice cream.. i miss you already.

Mon, 18 Oct 2004 14:30:59 GMT

i dont have much to say.

maryland happened. and ended..
i have pictures, but im sure no one cares to see..

work wasnt that bad last night,
im going to the hair show today with cait!
work tonight. only 4 hours. i think ill be fine.

my friends are crazy. insane.

jayk and i are doing pretty well with the whole "friends" thing...
friends... what a horrible word. :)
but i do love him.
and i hope that still means something.
heh, i know it does!
<3 <3
oh jacob. i love you.

and here is where it ends.

Sun, 10 Oct 2004 19:04:27 GMT

i added timmy!

oh boy, im so exctied to cut your hair.
mmmmm..

work today. til 11? blah..
i got a raise! 7 an hour.. woo.

im not average.

Wed, 06 Oct 2004 22:52:10 GMT

im a machine, a money making robot.

and thats all anyone needs to know.

last night was.. uh...good? hell yes.
last night was.. it just was.

and thats all anyone needs to know.

heh, im happy today.

i cant help being emo.. hehehe.

Thu, 30 Sep 2004 02:20:43 GMT

i read bad poetry, into your machine.
i save your messages, just to hear your voice.
you always listen carefully to awkward rhymes.
you always say your name like i wouldnt know its you...
and your most beautiful..

and my beautiful...
i count your eyelashes, secretly...
with every one whisper i love you, i'll let you sleep.
i'll know your closed eye watching me.. listening..
i thought i saw a smile.

<3
<3

weekend update

Tue, 28 Sep 2004 04:31:59 GMT

this weekend was fun. i enjoy jayks family alot, they are a good time.

from friday morning-sunday evening i was traveling to, staying in, and traveling back from new hampshire.

the car ride wasnt that bad. dvds, sleeping, not peeing as much as i thought i would have too, cuddling with jayk, getting leg rubs..mmm... they all contributed to a nice, enjoyable trip.

the hotel was beautiful. i loved the fish :) and sharing a room was liz was a nice change. i dont really spend much time with her, but chopping off her hair brought us closer, i can just tell.

the wedding was pretty nice.... the church.. ek.. but the reception was pretty. not really a choice of style for my wedding.. but who knows.. maybe my ideas will change 15 years from now....
.......man, please oh please i CANT wait 15 years.

im going to have to go with thursday night and sunday night being the best. hehehe ;) i love cuddling and falling asleep next to someone i love. <3

today was fairly sad for me. i dont know why. i guess just everything going through my mind. i dont like everything thats going on.. but im doing good. i really am trying to.

i just like being inlove. :)

i get too sleep in tomorrow!!!!

Mon, 20 Sep 2004 04:34:21 GMT

i worked my 7 hour shift today. heh, thats my longest shift i have. i punched in early and punched out late so i can get more money. so it was about 8 hours. hehe.

8 hours...
xtimesx 6 dollars and 50 cents...
-minus- 100 of that too the government...oh tax land...
=equals= hm. im broke.

im going to the zoo with joe on wednesday. hes a really cool guy. very interesting to talk too. hes very smart and it makes me feel dumb being around him. but hopefully borders will help me out with that one, hehe :). i worked with him tonight. he brought me in a book that he wants me too read.. and he calls me his "project" hehe.. hes trying to make me intelligent. man, hes brillant.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
oh, and i have the BIGGEST CRUSH EVER on jayk.
hehe, its kind of exciting. sshh, its also a secret.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3